Trapped on the Inside

[Chapter Fic] Ticker

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 05:27:27 GMT

Title: Ticker
Pairing: HoMin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU- Supernatural, Angst, Romance
Length: 0/?
Summary: Changmin is gifted with the ability to know when people around him will meet Death. He takes it upon himself to warn those who don't have much time left of their impending demises to give them a chance to live to the fullest. As appalled as he is by his power, Changmin doesn't believe he deserves love until he meets Yunho, a man with little time and so much to lose.

A/N: Plot bunny adopted from tvfxqluvz02 's request here.

Previous Chapters: 0

“You’re lucky I go along with your shit.”

Changmin ignored the words as he walks into his apartment, shutting the door and putting his keys in a little bowl on a side table. The reprimand had an nonverbal echo that followed Changmin as he toed off his shoes and tossed his jacket over the back of a chair. He brushed off the reverberations easily as he settled in, grabbing a drink from the fridge before turning towards a side a table to the source of the words.

There was a young man sitting on top of his dresser, unusual only for the fact that he seemed to be both present and not, semi-opaque legs hanging over the edge of the furniture to swing straight through it. He eyed Changmin with bemusement on handsome features tinged with something like concern. Changmin rolled his eyes at him.

“Where’s Junsu? He’s usually the one stalking me.”

The young man shrugged, hopping off the dresser and reappearing on a kitchen counter feet from where Changmin stood, giving him a tentative smile, “Where he always is when he’s not with you. It’s not like he’s got that many places to go,” The young man gives Changmin a sly look, “I bet you’re thankful, huh. Junsu wouldn’t go along with you so easily.”

“Shut up, Yoochun… Junsu’s a pushover anyways.”

The words are said with guilt and the young man- Yoochun- sighs, reappearing next to Changmin. A semi-opaque hand slides on top over Changmin’s in something like sympathy.

“Don’t say things like that. I was just giving you a warning. You’re… lucky, Min. You’ve got a Guardian that doesn’t give a shit and likes to bend the rules. You mean well, but I can’t just let you use my power like you did with that girl back there. For better or worse, we don’t need more mistakes like-”

“Just shut up, Yoochun! I know already… I do.”

And with that Changmin was as alone as he would ever get, drink gone warm in his hand.

It was his third walk of the day, but Changmin could never seem to get out enough. Being in an empty apartment with nothing but spirits for company had the effect of plying him with guilt. There, he couldn’t escape the memories of shame his ‘gift’ had brought him.

He recognized that it was unnatural. Wrong. He’d learned it well enough.

It was his own fault that he was cursed, and by now he understood that the capability to See Death’s tags was a punishment for his actions. A path paved with good intentions did not necessarily make life go full circle.

He didn’t need Yoochun to remind him of his limitations, though Changmin supposed that it was part of the spirit’s job as an Otherworldly Guardian. Yoochun had given him plenty of warnings in the past- always amiable about it and quick to be a friend- and the reprimands were unlikely to halt, especially with Changmin’s last, terrible mistake still hanging over their heads.

Unfortunately, being outside the apartment wasn’t necessarily any better than shutting himself in. There, Changmin was confronted with visions of human mortality wherever he looked. He was surrounded by snapshots of finality, and damn if it didn’t affect him every time. There were days where he wasn’t sure he was in his right mind, hellish insight sharp and surreal, dogging his steps darkly until the death he’d Seen popped up in the columns of obituaries.

There were the days in which he came to hate people- to hate that they were so fragile- and felt bitter as a result. Sartre, Changmin knew, was right. His Hell was other people.

Changmin couldn’t imagine the real thing being any worse

He sighed, lost in his own thoughts- at least grateful it distracted him from the strange looks he received from people around him who seemed to sense something off about him. Changmin had long since learned how to best tune out-

He didn’t notice the soccer ball until it hit him in the head.

Changmin swore, suffering a moment of déjà vu before looking up to see a young man with a thin, tired face jogging up to him, handsome features set in concern. Changmin gasped a little as the man approached, numbers lining up in his mind and turning into a death sentence overlaid on the scene before him.

A concerned voice brought Changmin out of his thoughts, the young man waving a hand in front of his face, “Hey, are you alright? Uh-oh, Jihye, this isn’t ain’t good. I think we broke ‘im.”

A girl jogged up to the young man and shook her head reprovingly, country accent strong in both her speech and the young man’s, “Oppa! I told’ja not ta try to show off, but there you went, clowning around and you go on and clonk this nice young man in the head!”

Changmin blinked in a daze, clearing his throat after a moment, “Miss, I’m fine.” He hesitated afterward, uncomfortable, but the two seemed to take no notice, bickering among themselves until the girl called his attention again, smile wide as she made the effort to speak with more formal speech.

“Sorry about that, mister. You see, my brother and I are pretty new to Seoul, and, you know how it is, coming from a little itty rural place like Gwangju-“

“Jihye!”

“Hush, oppa, I’m talking. Anyways, my brother’s too shy to ask ‘cuz he thinks you’re handsome,” Changmin and the young man both blushed, “But the truth of it is that we don’t really know anyone here and we really need a tour guide if we’re gonna survive in the big city.”

She clasped her hands behind her back and smiled at him kindly, big eyes pleading him to say ‘yes’ though so much in Changmin was saying ‘no.” He was no social butterfly and his communication skills were limited these days. He often had trouble relating to popular media, and, most of all, it was simply too strange to know just when and how the other person was going to meet their end.

The situation was probably less than ideal for them all, but something in their faces made Changmin give a reluctant ‘yes’ at which the siblings’ faces lighting up brilliantly.

“Great!” Jihye bowed deeply along with her brother, “My name is Jung Jihye, and this is my older brother, Yunho. We’re staying at that hostel just down the road and I’m sure I have our temporary number on me somewhere-“

“Jihye, don’t overwhelm him,” the young man- no, Yunho- warned, tone almost teasing and not lacking in care, “I’m sorry that this is so sudden, but we don’t have any friends here and well, the city is overwhelming… you wouldn’t mind starting… now-ish? If it isn’t too much trouble?”

Changmin nodded wordlessly, following as the siblings bounded ahead to show him to the hostel so they could start there. Indecision roiled in his stomach and he struggled with his sense of duty.

It was part of him to give people warnings when he could and somehow, the words wouldn’t make their way up his throat as he tagged along with the Jung siblings.

Yunho didn’t have much time left. He didn’t have much time left at all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sorry for this took so long, but even after I got all settled in the dorms and started classes and such, I just felt so unmotivated. This chapter definitely isn't all I hoped it would be, but it is what it is and I'll try to work something up better and faster for the next chapter.

[Chapter Fic] Somewhere Over the Rainbow (III)

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 23:57:30 GMT

Title: Somewhere Over the Rainbow (III)
Pairings: HoMin, JaeSu/JaeSuChun
Genre: Crack
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Changmin wakes up one morning to find his world turned rather upside down and the world of the The Wizard of Oz-but-not lands up on the door step. Something of a quest to find his pants, and the others, and the "real world" ensues.

A/N: It's been nearly a year since I've updated this fic, so it's probably unlikely that anyone remembers it. Um. And if you do, by some lucky star, :D here it is! A Chapter!

I | II

“Excuse me? No. No. You probably helped them bring me where ever the hell we are, you effeminate asshole! You tell me what I’m doing here!”

Heechul raises his eyebrows in surprise, looking over Changmin appreciatively.

“Mm, well, I can’t say you’re well-dressed, but I do have to say… you are sexy angry.”

The look that appears on Changmin’s features says everything of frying Heechul with his mind alone and Heechul is inclined to believe that it can happen so he shuffles away discreetly in the guise of a ridiculous bow. He laughs nervously.

“Well, it’s not every day that we have someone so handsome and horribly dressed as you appear in the realm of Odd. Perhaps-“ Heechul gropes for a reason, “Oh! Perhaps you are supposed to free us from… my wicked, wicked counterpart! The Reasonably-Ungood Sorcerer Kangin!”

Heechul compliments himself. The reason is just so ridiculous that it might be true.

Changmin’s expression says that he doesn’t agree.

“Excuse me? What the hell sort of game are you playing, Heechul? Is this get-drunk-and-subject-Changmin-to-a-mindfuck day? I hate all of you!”

Heechul’s stunned, to say the least, but he recovers quickly, hand bracing his hip as he looks at Changmin squarely, “Hey! I don’t know who the hell you are, or what you’re doing here, but I am not screwing with you and I definitely don’t know how you know my name, but I suggest you tell me before I fry your ass!”

Changmin’s returning glare iss more than a match for Heechul’s fervor, “Well, Heechul, let’s do a reality check here. Uh, one, I know your name because, oh, I don’t know, we just happen to work in the same company together; two, we have mutual friends and last time I checked, we were on friendly terms with each other; and three, this whole thing’s been in existence for more than six years.”

“What?”

They stare at each other and all at once, they know there’s some serious shit going on.

Heechul clears his throat tentatively and rolls his wand between his fingers, clearing his throat listlessly, “Uh. Okay, well, once again, I don’t know where the hell you came from, but as far as I know, I’ve never worked with or even seen you before and I think you might be as crazy as you are cute.”

A moment of insanity overtakes Changmin and he lifts Mangdong from his manpurse and pouts at her tremulously.

“Mangdongie, Mangdongie, we really aren’t in Seoul anymore are we? Of all the times for the guys to not be playing a horrible joke, this isn’t one of them and I’m stuck with this fairy-ass version of Heechul in this godforsaken crayola-puke colored world with none of those minions I live with around, aren’t I?”

Mandongie yips and licks his nose and Changmin takes it as a sign that it’s time to despair.

Changmin sniffles, “But… but, Mangdongie, who am I going to kill for this now?”

More yipping. Changmin realizes abruptly that it’s neither helpful nor entirely sane to listen to, so he places the little dog back into his manpurse and looks at Heechul with some semblance of confidence, “I’ve reached a conclusion.”

Heechul looks up from his nails, “Oh?”

“Yes, a conclusion. Several, in fact. I’m really not home anymore, you aren’t the Heechul I know, this world looks like vomit, I don’t know where the hell I am, and um, Magic.”

Heechul raises a perfect eyebrow, “Magic?”

Changmin nods, “Yes, Magic. As in, there must be some Magic around that brought me to this terrible place.”

Heechul chooses not to take offense but puts a mental ‘douche-marker’ next to Changmin’s face and outwardly nods in agreement, clearing his throat before waving his wand with a flourish and a bright smile, “Well, in that case, Welcome to the Land of Odd, where the colors are garish, the people bizarre and our great Leadershii the Greatest and Handsomest of all! Who is it that I’m addressing?”

Changmin twitched ever so slightly and cleared his throat, “Shim Changmin, but I wanna get the hell out of here.”

Heechul nods again. Everything’s working out so nicely for him; Yunho must be happy.

“Well, Shim Changmin, I have a solution for you, or really, our great and powerful Leadershii does. You should go and see him for a solution to your plight!”

“But however will I find him?”

The words are cheesy and dramatic, but Changmin ignores it. He’s not going to stop just because of a little cheese- somehow, it feels like the right way to speak anyways.

Heechul flounces over to a grey spiral in between them, pouting at it, “Just follow the Cinder-block Road.”

Changmin raises an incredulous eyebrow and snorts, “Cinderblocks? What the hell, shouldn’t it be made out of gold or bricks at least?”

Heechul smiled tightly, “Leadershii is Great, but he is Cheap as well.”

His eyes speak of it as a personal grievance and he fusses with the streamers on his wand with a pointed sigh. He looks up again when he sees that Changmin’s making no attempt at any sort of following.

“What the hell is wrong now? The freaking road is self-explanatory, do I have to tell you how to walk too?!”

Miles away, Yunho and Donghae wince from where they’re watching the scene from the scrying glass. They somewhat regret forgetting about Heechul’s temper.

As if Heechul might hear, Donghae leans in and whispers, “D’you think getting him fixed might help with the aggression?”

Yunho glances at Heechul’s astoundingly flowery image in the bowl and shakes his head gravely, “I’m afraid it’s a lost cause, Donghae.”

Donghae bursts into dramatic soap-opera-grade tears.

“Fucktard. How the hell do you expect me to walk on that? It’s crooked and full of corners. I don’t even have shoes on!” Changmin snarks back, snarling and slapping down the kilt around his legs when a wind picks up.

Heechuls snarls at him and strides over to the legs protruding out from the chunk of apartment Changmin came from. Heechul swears violently when one of them jerks to his at his privates, slapping them with the technicolor platforms he plucks from the feet., holding them out at arms length with two fingers out to Changmin.

“Here.”

Changmin stares at the kitschy things and feels his eyes retreat into his head a little.

“What. Are those.”

Heechul forces a smile, but it looks more like his mouth is trying to slither off his face.

“D-designer technicolor platforms! One of a kind! Take them!”

There’s an ‘or else’ hidden in the silence, but Changmin rolls his eyes and uses on off Mangdongie’s paws to push them away. The ugly might be contagious. Heechul thrusts them back at Changmin with a deranged sort of insistence, but the resulting glare on Changmin’s features makes him take them back a little.

Heechul’s temper then rears it’s glamorous head.

“What the hell, do you want to get to the Great Leadershii or what?”

“Let me use your bubble!”

“You’re too freaking tall! Get your own!”

“Like hell it is!”

“Just wear the freaking shoes!”

“Call me hyung then!”

“Hyung!”

Changmin’s mouth opens and closes. By the look of it, honorifics don’t exist in the land of Odd. Letting lose a roar, Changmin stalks behind a large tree and goes through a round of ‘pulling the weeds in anger.’

After a few minutes, he emerges from a pile of shredded vegetation and dirt, holding his hand out for the shoes. Changmin tries not to look down at his feet too much while he puts them on, but the platforms are just so loud, he swears he can hear them screaming for his attention.

Heechul claps his hands together, pleased, “They fit perfectly! Now get walking, he’s waiting to ravish you!”

“Pardon?”

“Figure of speech!”

Grumbling, Changmin steps out where the Cinderblock road finally uncurls from its initial spiral, trying to walk in the hideous shoes, but Heechul’s hand on his shoulder stops him.

“Hey, you didn’t start at the beginning.” Heechul points at the middle of the spiral. Changmin burns holes through him with his eyes.

“Why? This is the part of the road that goes somewhere. I’m following, like you said.”

“I said follow, not cheat.”

Taking a calming deep breath, Changmin counts to ten and then walks over to the beginning of the spiral with large exaggerated steps, glaring at Heechul on every turn until he’s back where he started in the first place.

It’s a good thing that Changmin refuses to look back after that, Heechul muses as he flicks his wand to make a little gust of wind blow the back of Changmin’s kilt up.

“Oh, yeah. Yunho will definitely enjoy that ass.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I will most likely be alternating updating chapters of this and my other HoMin chapter fic, Ticker. In case you wanted to know. I'll see how it works out.

[Chapter Fic] Ticker

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 06:50:37 GMT

Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Days.

They flowed steadily in Changmin’s mind, threading in and out of his consciousness. Little ticking hands on invisible clocks. Ethereal timers counting down over everyone’s heads.

The prim business man driving a foreign car down the other side of the busy street had two weeks, one day, three hours, forty-five minutes and sixteen seconds left on his ticker. It was a botched robbery for him. Unpleasant, but not the worst Changmin had seen.

The elderly woman some meters away from him had more time than her son who was pushing her wheelchair. A food allergy, accidental and unexpected, would claim him.

The girl standing behind him, going shop to shop to handout fliers to pay for school?

Changmin turned and tapped her on her shoulder, features set, neither kind nor cruel.

She turned around curiously, eyes wide at the sight of him. Changmin is struck with the thought that if here were a different person he would have pitied her. She would have made a beautiful bride one day if she was allowed more time.

The girl’s mouth opened in question, the glossy pages slipping out of her shaky hands, but no sound escaped her. She could sense that he was different. Changmin always liked it better this way. It made task easier.

“Consider this an act of divine providence. You have three days left. Do with that time what you will.”

The fliers finally fluttered to the pavement, but it made no difference to the pedestrian flow around them as the girl wet her lips and let forth a shaky breath.

“W-will it hurt?”

A pause. To her eyes, Changmin was becoming difficult to see. As if to look at him made him less real.

“I wouldn’t know.”

He was gone in the next heartbeat, leaving her stunned as she was left with a boy who had picked up the fallen leaflets. She refused to take the fliers when she came to her senses.

Her last three days were for living.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I will try to update this quickly, but my schedule is bound to become quite hectic shortly. I have a lot of packing to do before the schoolyear starts and I'm not sure how much time I'll have while getting settled into my dorm and getting used to classes.

Well that was short lived....

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 00:19:40 GMT

Lj works for me again :D *happy dance*

Pretty irritating

Sat, 08 Aug 2009 21:16:25 GMT

Lj is of the not-really-working-for-me at the moment. Have to use a proxy to access so idk, probably won't be posting even if I have fic until it works better

[Oneshot] Forfeit

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 05:05:40 GMT

Title: Forfeit
Pairings: Homin, Jaemin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: Love is never so bad as when it becomes unrequited and sometimes it takes too long to let it go.

A/N: For zawie I hope my interpretation of the multiprompt is to your satisfaction.

“Jae?”

“Yunho? It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m surprised you haven-“

“Jae. You’re looking for an apartment right?”

“Right, but how did you kn-“

“I know of a vacancy… in the same building as… a-a friend. It’s kind of important that you act soon. I mean, the apartment’s pretty nice and it might be snatched up soon. The neighbors are wonderful- er, so I’ve heard.”

“Oh. Um, thanks. This is really thoughtful of you, even though it’s kinda sudden. I mean how long has it been? What are you up to these days?”

“It’s not really important. go check out the apartment… oh, and um… make sure to check on your neighbor. I hear... he’s going through some things… “

“Sure, but… you’re acting kind of weird. Is something wrong? Do you need to ta-“

“I gotta go. Just check out the damn apartment, Jae. I’m counting on it.”

It used to be easy to love him.

Not that it ever really got hard, but there came a point when things changed, when Yunho had an epiphany and came upon a truth he wished was a lie.

For a time, he simply ignored it, content to go about his business with Changmin as they had been- the image of a happy couple- but Yunho soon came to realize that not all ignorance is bliss.

He had to face the reality eventually, that his relationship with Changmin was an uneven one. One of them had a stronger love than the other and it was becoming more apparent by the day.

Love wasn’t supposed to be a routine. You weren’t supposed to be able to wear it out.

And when Yunho could no longer ignore it, he knew it was time to walk away, for both their sakes.

Before his heart broke completely.

“For the record,” Yunho slurred in the bartender’s general direction, “I still love him!”

The bartender nodded absently. They got these types every day, heartbroken or hopelessly in love with the wrong person and he’d long since gotten used to it, saying something vague about honor and doing admirable things. He had something to say for every bleeding heart’s scenario, and this guy probably needed it.

In love with someone who was falling out of love with him. Sad truths.

He reached over to top Yunho’s glass off on the house, but Yunho wasn’t paying any attention, eyes focused on the inside of his wallet, on the image of a picture-perfect love that wasn’t so perfect beyond the Kodak moment.

Yunho downed the shot glass to drown his sorrows and blur the snatch of time in front of him, closing his wallet and shoving it in his pocket roughly before getting up to stumble all over the sticky floor. He let the bartender haul him up and sit him back down to wait for a taxi, taking out his wallet again.

The snapshot stared back at him. He didn’t know whether to tear it up or press his lips to it, and he took it mindlessly shredding the corners in towards the center like plucking the petals from a daisy.

Though instead of ‘I love you’s and ‘I love you not’s, his chorus was of ‘I need you’ and ‘Goodbye.’

It used to be easy.

Changmin had loved Yunho, at a time. He was kind, and gentle, and all shades of amazing, and, for a time, Changmin couldn’t get enough of him. For a time, it was late-night calls on the phone and sneaking out to draw hearts on foggy bedroom windows. For a time, it was perfect.

But somewhere along the line, their love became monotonous. The spontaneous became expected, and, worse, the romance started to verge on irritating in Changmin’s mind.

The charm of living every day with the same love song was wearing off before he even noticed.

Phone calls started getting shorter. Smiles were wearing thin. Old jokes and mannerisms started losing their simple charms. ‘I love you’ became automatic.

Habit- no matter how comfortable- is not the same as love.

A ring hung from a circle of twine on Changmin’s doorknob and it took him a moment for him to realize what it was. Perplexed, he snatched it from its place and stormed over to the next unit, knocking on Yunho’s door urgently.

It took some time for Yunho to answer, eyes red-rimmed and looking like he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in days and he eyes Changmin almost coldly, licking his lips in a way that could have been either nervous or laced with contempt.

“Yes?”

Changmin held up the ring for Yunho to see. It had been Changmin’s 300 days anniversary gift for the older man and he’d never seen Yunho take it off, ever. Yunho stared at it for a moment before clearing his throat, voice taking a slow breath.

“Isn’t it obvious? We’re done, Min.”

“You love me.”

It sounded oddly like an accusation falling from Changmin’s lips, and Yunho paused, perhaps considering his next words.

“It means goodbye.”

Yunho closed the door softly, leaving Changmin stunned in the hallway.

Yunho’s new apartment felt too big for just himself.

He did his best to stay out of it, walking around his new neighborhood and familiarizing himself, but never so much that his feet might forget and take him to his old place.

Between the two, he wasn’t really sure if it was really better that he had moved.

Here, his mind played tricks on him, making him set an extra place at the kitchen table sometimes, imagining the perfect spot to fit two instead of one when placing a new couch or rug.

There, there was Changmin, and that spoke for itself.

Yunho found himself hunting for bars in his spare time, drinking alone. He avoided couples on the street and meeting new people, started picking up his vices and trying to tell himself that he was okay.

And yet, he hadn’t charged his phone in weeks, hadn’t checked his email, or plugged in his answering machine. His photos were all packed away.

Soon, he was sure, there would be people knocking on his door to make sure that he was alive.

Laughing to himself through nights of alcoholic haze, he wasn’t really sure if he was living either.

Who, after all, in their right mind gives up the one good thing they’ve got in the interest of another?

Changmin was angry, at first. He raged, and cried, and threw things around his room, hating that he’d been abandoned so easily. Hating the way that Yunho gave him up.

But his dreams filled up with visions of Yunho’s tired eyes, of the careful pauses and hitched breaths that Changmin had missed and he woke, beginning to wonder at the guilt piling in his heart.

The rest of the night left him agitated, in a strange limbo between something like relief and regret.

That morning, on his door, was a sticky note, simply saying, “Don’t hate me.”

That morning, Unit Number 35- Jung Yunho’s- became vacant and available for rent.

Changmin could only think of forgetting and moving on.

Jaejoong was a long time friend of Yunho’s, and generally unlucky in love.

He was an honest sort of man to the point of being blunt, and he was full of spontaneity and reckless charm. Jaejoong had once been fond of Yunho, but his admiration came out unrequited, another loss in a string of loves-not-meant-to-be.

Jaejoong was quick to realize, at least that he and Yunho weren’t meant to be, but since that time Yunho always had a spark of pity for the man, watching over him as romance after romance hit brick walls.

It took a while for Yunho to admit it, but he came to recognize that, with a little push, he could make two people very happy, even if he ended up hurting himself in exchange.

Two weeks after Yunho left, Kim Jaejoong moved into Unit 35 and became Changmin’s neighbor. They met while Jaejoong was carrying packaging to the dumpsters and Changmin’s heart fluttered.

He had never been so attracted.

Changmin unconsciously started making excuses to find opportunities to get to know his new neighbor from taking a coincidental jog at the same time to knocking on Jaejoong’s door and saying he’d really made too much for dinner, would he like to share?

Even though it hadn’t been so long since Changmin had given up on Yunho, he found himself falling in love with Jaejoong, pursuing until Jaejoong caught on and agreed to be his.

It was an idle piece of conversation over dinner that brought the memories back, a simple, “So how’d you come to move here?”

Jaejoong smiled and fed Changmin a bite from his plate, “My friend, Yunho said he saw this place for a good deal and I’d been looking for a new apartment for a while. He was definitely right if I have anything to say about it, I mean, a pretty low rent and handsome boyfriend? It’s a total steal!”

Changmin laughed at the time, though he could feel his stomach sinking.

He called Yunho again and again that night, guilt gnawing at him as he began to understand.

Yunho’s phone was off.

Changmin felt a little bit like screaming.

It took three months of courage for Yunho to unpack his phone charger and plug in his phone and another week to actually turn it on.

Two more weeks let him check his voicemail.

Five minutes left him wanting a strong drink.

There were apologies, and guilty streams of consciousness from Changmin who’s voice still stirred Yunho’s heart. Excitement and giddy gossip came from Jaejoong and even without talking to them directly, Yunho knew that they were getting along.

It was a lonely feeling, knowing that everything was alright without him, and Yunho found that he just couldn’t be angry through it. His heart ached, but somehow, he felt liberated, knowing that he hadn’t distanced himself for nothing.

Yunho allowed himself a little smile, at the very least, Changmin and Jaejoong were happy.

Changmin glanced at Jaejoong sleeping beside him in what was now their bed before sneaking out onto the balcony. He let the night air wash over him before peering at the balcony of the next unit, sighing a bit.

There would be a new tenant soon, an unfamiliar face when he felt the need to see- what he hoped was anyway- and old friend.

Yunho’s phone hadn’t been on in the last three months, and Changmin figured that after this call, he would let Yunho decide if contact should end. The straight cut to voicemail was predictable after Changmin dialed the number and he cleared his throat, waiting for the tinny little beep.

“Hey, Yunho… It’s Min and I know I’ve left a shitload of messages on your phone already, but I thought I’d give it one more shot. I wanted to say thank you and that.. finally, I get it. I want to say I’m sorry for not getting it sooner and that, if you still, um, have feelings for me? I hope you find someone soon. You’re a great guy, Yunho and I don’t regret the time we’ve spent together and now I really owe you a big one for, well, for giving me Jaejoong. Take care of yourself, okay? I- You’re really something, Yunho… goodbye.”

Three weeks later, Changmin’s phone rang a familiar ring.

“I’m glad that you’re doing well, Min.”

“I hope I can say the same, for you.”

“I’m getting there, I think.”

“…Then I’m glad for you.”

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 04:49:23 GMT

Tagged by chromeheart

Firstly: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.
Secondly: Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

~~Who sleeps in bed next to you?~~ What's a memorable dream you've had?
I had this one dream where I died and became Junsu's ghost.... Um. It was kinda hilariously epic.

Would you ever lie to your significant other?
yes.

~~What kind of magazines do you read?~~ What kind of books do you read?
I read a lot of fantasy and science fiction. My favorite authors are Terry Prachett and Neil Gaiman :)

What's your occupation?
Student

What's really creepy?
Drowning.

Who is your celebrity crush?
Tablo's brain. lajlfkasf Also, these lovely man:

(though.. they look so good together)

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
current fandom is dbsk, been stuck on the for a while
obsession? Family Outing
Addiction? Tea

What are you listening to right now?
Umbrella- Epik High feat. Younha

What food could you eat every day for weeks and not get sick of?
My mom's cooking. fl;aksdj;fsk Imma miss it in the dorms

What websites do you always visit when you go online?
(i) livejournal (ii) yahoo!mail (iii) gmail

What was the last thing you bought?
Souvenirs for some friends while on a roadtrip through US national parks

What was the cutest thing you've seen today?
My friend's puppy. So floppy;

Does the weather affect your mood?
Yeah. I get headachy when it's grey and drizzly, excited it storms, excited when it snows, irritable and sleepy when it's hot

What is your zodiac sign?
Pisces

Do you want to learn another language?
Yes. Just.... no more French. I need a break. It's been six years -.-

5 things you can't live without.
(i) laptop (ii) notebooks (iii) pens (iv) tea! (v) sewing things

Do you have any siblings?
Yes. Two older sisters ten and seven years older than me. We're very close.

~~What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?~~ What's an unusual habit of yours?
I have a tendency to, when eating foods that are supposed to be eaten together such as gyros, pick them apart after putting them together and eat the components separately, or, particularly when eating dishes with rice (which is, I mean, really often, considering) portion off everything into completely balanced bites.

What are you looking forward to?
Not having a nine-period-a-day school day. Yay college.

Say something to the person who tagged you:
Riecat, ILU! :) I hope to meet you in RL someday. akfjlksdjf you'reamazing, I love your writing and try not to doubt yourself so much! I have faith in you!

Tagging: neitoperhonen , sly_pantera , xyliane , randomnazgul , sarahthehobbit , and I'll tag the rest in a bit when I remember how to spell their usernames -.-U

[Oneshot] Cinderella Complex

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 18:09:21 GMT

Title: Cinderella Complex
Pairings: JaeSu, minor HoMin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack/Fluff
Warnings: Much swearing.... and it probably isn't even funny.
Length: Oneshot/ w. 1774
Summary: Jaejoong drinks. He drinks a lot. By some miracle, this leads him to find 'the one.' Jaejoong's dilemma? He can't remember anything but his stranger's lips.

A/N: Written for the "Kiss" contest at jaesu_challenge. Tied for first place.

It was a little- kind of a lot- hazy, but Jaejoong remembered hitting the dance floor- possibly literally and with his face- and at some point, some- probably- kind and- hopefully- beautiful stranger helped him to a seat and said something, and, anyways-

None of that really mattered because Jaejoong kissed the stranger and knew beyond reasonable doubt that that man was the one.

[Oneshot] Umbrella (I Draw an Answer)

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 05:28:01 GMT

Title: Umbrella (I Draw an Answer)
Pairing: HoSu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, Angst, Romance
Word Count: 3092
Summary: In the end, it's about being together.
Prompts: 1|2|3

A/N: Written for itsplashes for the hosu_yongwonhi fic exchange. Title taken from Epik High's 'Umbrella.' I apologize for the tardiness of the piece, but at least it's finished? Beta'd by xiahbuns

A spray of pebbles raps against the barrack’s window.

Junsu shakes his head lightly, unwilling to open his eyes. He’s had this dream before. He’s opened his eyes to his mind’s truth and woken to find it a lie. He can’t fall for this, can’t submit to the desperation of his sleeping mind, can’t-

The rain of pebbles comes again.

Junsu’s eyes snap open against his will- he can’t ignore the sound- and his heart beats faster when he sees the miniscule shadows traveling over his chest against the dim light of the moon.

Relief is the only emotion he knows for a tender moment.

And though he ignores it, the sudden fluttering in his stomach speaks more of love.

Junsu’s neighbor is a town favorite, and, without a doubt, he’s Junsu’s favorite too.

Yunho, after all, is polite and handsome, utterly charming. Son-in-law material. Adorable with his country dialect shining through on occasion.

He’s the sort of boy that all the parents want their daughters to marry, that the daughters want to kiss under trees in autumn, that the boys would be proud to have as a friend.

Junsu isn’t quite sure how they ended up being friends. He doesn’t think they really match- the charismatic hapkido exponent and the homely soccer-loving choirboy?- but Yunho insists on it. After all, Junsu isn’t such a bad catch himself. He’s not without charm, or manner, and, after all, he has talent too. The voice of an angel, or, at least, a professional.

Besides, Yunho insists, Yunho chose Junsu a long time ago and they’ve been fine- more than, really- isn’t that what matters?

Junsu agrees with a laugh, but his conscience nags at him.

Favoritism is far from the limit of what they feel for each other.

Junsu scrambles out of his hard standard-issue cot, grabbing a mirror out of the drawer of his bedside table to flash it once outside the window. His eyes are bright as he runs the length of the barrack, knowing that another pair of legs is taking the steps in tandem, parallel to his own. Junsu can’t organize his thoughts as he flings open the door to have sixty-some-odd kilos of man collide with him, holding him firmly in well-muscled arms.

It’s been far too long since Yunho’s held him like this.

Despite the way that Junsu longs to reciprocate the embrace, he shoves the older man off so he can tie his bandana over the outer doorknob- a makeshift do-not-disturb sign- and hide them from the outside world. Junsu leans against the door after he shuts it, looking down at his feet.

He’s not beyond lecturing his older lover.

“What the hell are you doing here? If you get caught, you’ll be killed!”

Yunho ignores him, stepping in closer to cup Junsu’s cheek and tilt his head up, smiling softly.

“Hey there, come on, you don’t want to see m-“

“Don’t even, Jung Yunho, you know I love-“

“Then stop this. Besides, you can see, I’m already in, and I’m fine. Not a scratch on me.”

Yunho scoops Junsu up- he’s always been the stronger out of the two of them; it’s undeniable- and brings him back to the cot that lies beneath a pebble-scratched window, laying him down gently and scooting in right next to him.

“Please don’t begrudge me these visits, baby. It drives me insane not to know if you’re okay. Things are rougher here than they are at my camp- don’t pretend they aren’t- and you… well. No one’s hurt you, have they?”

“I can look after myself!”

There’s a pregnant pause. Yunho shifts to better spoon Junsu, a hand reaching up blindly to pull down a thin shade over the window.

“I know, but I thought we were in this together.”

It’s common knowledge in the village that Junsu and Yunho are fairly inseparable.

If one is missing, the other likely knows his location. It’s a little strange, but it’s gotten to a point where sometimes even Junsu’s twin brother doesn’t know what they’re up to, for all of his closeness with his other half.

Sometimes, Junsu and Yunho escape away to the great Elsewhere.

No one thinks much of it- boys will be boys- but after a while things start getting a little out of hand. There are disappointed whispers abounding as they grow up. People start talking when Junsu changes his aspirations towards singing instead of soccer; Yunho from following his respectable father’s career as police chief to dancing.

It’s not a problem really, but it’s strange. Everyone thinks so, no matter how precious the boys are to the village.

There’s been talk, lately, but talk is just talk.

And truth is often stranger than fiction.

They’ve had this argument too many times to count.

“In this ‘together?’ Since when are we ‘in this together?’ Huh? Since when is being on opposite sides of a war ‘in this together?’”

Junsu’s voice is pitched towards hysteria, and, despite the look he’s wearing, Yunho doesn’t really seem much better. They’ve said these words before, and with every saying they seem to wear them out a little more until one day they’ll stretch thin enough to burst and fizzle into oblivion.

Yunho is tactfully quiet and still, waiting for Junsu to calm down a little before speaking his own mind, “We are. Or, well, we could be. We didn’t have to be on opposite sides. You could have-“

“I couldn’t-“

“No, you won’t. You won’t. You aren’t willing to listen to reason! This is the people’s war. We’re just trying to defend the citizens! We’re trying to stop the wa-“

“Bullshit! Bull. Shit. You don’t fucking stop a war by starting one against it. It’s a power struggle in disguise of a godsend! I can’t believe how thick you are-“

“So you’re just telling me-us to lie down and take it? What the fuck sort of justice is that? Where’s your sense of shame?”

There’s a tense pause. In the midst of their quarrel they’ve turned to face each other, sitting on Junsu’s cot, poised for the attack. The patience that’s always fueled their relationship burns out their anger soon enough, but they don’t let their debate go. The threats of the world they live in are too present, pressing in on them, and it’s become a game of acknowledgment or despair.

Junsu takes a deep breath eventually, the fight going out of him, and he turns to sprawl over the hard mattress, burying his face into a pillow that smells strongly of sweat and nightmares.

He loves that Yunho is there even if he won’t admit it, but the very fact makes the long day seem even longer.

“I won’t let you make me the coward.”

When Yunho comes to lie next to him, the cot hardly shifts due to its poor composition. The action is inescapably predictable, almost routine, as Yunho slings an arm around Junsu’s back, and he turns his head so they can face each other. As always, the moment their eyes meet, they try to at least look apologetic even though the sincerity of their words has already been dispensed.

“…I’m not calling you one. I’m just saying… I’m doing this for us.”

“I don’t understand how you can believe that.”

“If my side wins, we can be ‘together,’ Su.”

“I don’t believe that. I don’t believe ‘we’ win like that.”

“You don’t believe in me?” Yunho’s eyes follow with the shadow of an implied ‘in us?’ that Junsu can read all-too-well.

“I believe in Jung Yunho who grew up with me and loves me, but I don’t believe in your ideals… they just… don’t make sense, Yun. They don’t.”

They pause again, still enough to hear the sound of ranked officers barking out drills for squads of soldiers in other sections’ yards. After some moments of silence, Junsu and Yunho meet each other’s eyes again, this time truly apologetic.

“I’m not asking you to understand, but I don’t like you being here without me. I don’t like what I hear from the people that we have posted in your ranks. I want to be able to know that you’re okay-to see it with my own eyes. So… I’m not going to stop sneaking over here until this damned war is over. I’m not leaving you alone.”

Junsu says nothing and kisses Yunho instead. He’s grateful even if he can’t say it.

The war starts just before Yunho and Junsu graduate from high school. It seems to come from nowhere and for no reason, but everyone feels the tension from the heart city to deep in the farmlands. News starts to filter into their little town from the capital, and none of it sounds promising.

The first cracks start with the echoes of the word ‘draft.’

These days, Junsu and Yunho are practically living out of little hideouts that they’ve created in the forest that hugs the edge of town, and for good reason.

People have started to notice that they’ve become unusually close, though the depth of their relationship is still a secret. No one can know of the kisses they’ve shared or the heat they’ve stolen from each other’s bodies. It’s not natural to the rest of the world, and they can’t expect it to be accepted, for their popularity to safeguard them. They know it’s not the way the world works.

This is their cross to bear, but with the war, the storm-cloud on the horizon, there is a new weight to their trials.

War rips people apart- sometimes literally- and with the threat of forced service, the prospect is imminent.

This is not the way it’s supposed to go.

The world around them is roiling in chaos and it’s more than likely that both Yunho and Junsu will be roped into paying the cost among thousands of other souls to be sent to their doom.

Surprisingly, it’s proud and filial Yunho who suggests running, but Junsu refuses.

There is nothing that can be won in flight. Nowhere to go, nothing that they can keep in their names save for that which they can carry on their backs, no welcome to be expected from any but the kindest or most naïve of souls. No safety to be found in that path.

Imprisonment and the label of traitor are not prizes to be won.

Even for the sake of their relationship.

They spend a few quiet moments stealing kisses from one another before Junsu settles enough to speak without trying to fight. As desperate as he is to protect Yunho, especially when they’re within each other’s sight, Junsu’s equally desperate to see him. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t often pining for Yunho throughout the course of the day. Thoughts of Yunho are what make the long days of drilling and missions seem simultaneously brighter and all the more painful.

They’re on different sides in this war, after all.

Through their personal choices, they’ve limited their opportunities to be together. The paths they’ve taken cross only a few times, and they can only hope that none of those times will result in armed conflict. Anxiety and loneliness find them again and again, and after their initial arguments, the topic usually moves to clean these emotions from the air.

“The others have started to wonder.”

Yunho wasn’t incorrect before- things are harder at the national army camp- and Junsu can’t deny it. Women are difficult to come by at home base and the camp followers can’t be trusted not to be spies or assassins in disguise. Illicit trysts crop up between soldiers and frantic, lustful affairs bloom between comrades. It’s a fairly inevitable thing between the stresses of battle and training and the lack of emotional confidence and physical intimacy. While it takes many a drink to discuss such matters, it’s not difficult to figure out who’s been with whom, and everyone in his company knows that Junsu hasn’t had anyone even though he’s a desirable partner.

Everyone in the squad knows that Junsu’s been taking ‘someone from the outside’ to bed on occasion, though, until recently, none of them have been curious enough to ask.

Yunho can guess as much, but he still asks back, “Wonder what?”

“Wonder about who I’ve been bedding,” Junsu sits up in Yunho’s embrace, desire to protect his lover flaring. “They know that it can’t be someone from camp. I’ve refused everyone’s advances. I mean… it’s dangerous, Yunho… I can only pretend I have a really loyal girlfriend for so long… You can’t deny that there are too many opportunities to slip up and-“

“I thought we were through with this discussion.” Yunho sits up next to him, tone gentle and thumb smoothing over the curve of Junsu’s cheekbones.

“I’m not willing to let you die for me.”

“I’m not planning on dying any time soon.”

A ruthless raid prompts rebellion.

The government is claiming something about sedition and unlawful happenings, but it’s too late to calm the people’s anger. There is nothing that they can be told that will justify the sacking and burning of a village in their own country. It hits too close to home, and after all the rest- the drafts, the garnishing of supplies, and seizing of crops to fuel the war- the cracks have become great fissures in the people’s loyalty.

Very few speak of patriotism now.

Yunho’s been less and less in Junsu’s company lately and it’s becoming troubling. Junsu doesn’t like the trains of thought that Yunho’s mind has been departing on and when whispers of a rebellion form an omnipresent hiss, Junsu knows without a doubt what Yunho is planning on. Though he himself doesn’t agree with this whole warring business, Junsu isn’t in line with fighting against it. It seems futile to try and civil war doesn’t sound like the path that will lead them all to safety.

He tries to convince Yunho of the same, but no matter the degree of subtlety or frankness used, Yunho won’t listen.

It’s their second big fight, and neither of them wins.

Letters come bearing the government’s seal.

A month later, Junsu is packed and on the train with his twin brother, headed for endless drills and nights spent in fatigues on endless watches.

Yunho is miles and miles away with a ragtag band of rebels, running through the thick forest undergrowth in search of places to hide.

Their thoughts never stray far from the each other.

Somewhere in the conversation, the topic takes a sharp detour.

Clothes are abandoned in search of heat, and their dance is most intimate, driving deep until the passion fades. Bitter tears fall, and when it’s said and done, they feel woefully star-crossed, fated to take too much until they’re both too spent to go on.

It’s something of a miracle that they’ve gotten this far.

Maintaining their relationship is harder than it used to be. They aren’t kids anymore, trying to holdback their laughter as they chase each other through the forest to hide effortlessly in any number of tree houses they’ve built. It’s not as easy as running up into thick foliage to conduct an affair in the midst of naivety anymore.

Now it’s a matter of avoiding stone-faced sentries and the ends of bayonets. These days it’s a few snatches of time here and there and a kiss shared in a dream unknowingly.

These days, it’s a matter of love and how strong their hearts are to endure it.

These days, the thing they share most is grief.

“I’m afraid,” Junsu admits while they settle under the scratchy military blankets, “that one day we’ll just snap under the tension.”

Yunho doesn’t have to tell Junsu that he agrees, but he reassures Junsu anyways. They’re familiar roles to settle into- doubt and shaky confidence- and for a second, they can almost feel time reel back towards the past.

Their eyes meet across the marketplace. A cliché scenario in the worst of times, but they don’t follow through. Junsu doesn’t go flying across the plaza to throw himself into Yunho’s arms. They don’t shout for joy.

The world doesn’t stop around them.

All they can afford is the relief of a smile, exchanged from across the way, in the tiniest bit of space with people drifting in between.

Three days later, Yunho figures out where Junsu is stationed and gets all the information he can.

A week later, he works up the courage to sneak in to see Junsu.

That day, they talk little and make frantic love in the hollow of a tree outside of the camp. It’s a race to make sure the other is really there, really in their arms.

That night, Junsu’s unit heads out.

Yunho follows.

“It’s… it’s selfish, but I don’t want you to leave me. It’s dangerous but…” Junsu trails off, but it hardly matters. Yunho knows what he means.

Junsu is a soldier in the nation’s army. Yunho is a rebel, a traitor. There’s a civil war going on. If either of them are caught like this, it means death.

It’s not as easy as hiding in the forest like boys anymore.

A lonely boat drifts out to sea in the dark of the night, using the light of a military camp as far as it penetrates the gloom. Two men are crouched at the bottom of it, tangled together in a scratchy wool blanket, anxious with the weight of their deed but buoyed by a fluttering, desperate hope. They hold back loud breaths until they can hear the chaos of ‘civilized’ life fade away and don’t dare to sit up until it’s too dark to tell the difference between the darkness behind their closed eyes and the blacker-than-black when opened.

They don’t have much with them, not more than was utterly important and nothing more than what they could steal, but they’re willing to make due with what they have.

They can’t hide in the forest like they once did, but the sea is better at forgetting them, carrying them along with the current and the ebb and swell of the waves. Under the harsh sun and the veil of night, they are rendered insignificant.

Their situation is less than ideal, and their fate is out of their hands, but they have dealt with the less-than-ideal before. They endured then. They’re determined to endure now.

This time, at least, they’re enduring it together.

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 23:42:52 GMT

So I went with my family to go watch Harry Potter and HBP and I was pleasantly surprised.

Honestly, I was expecting it to suck. Like the other ones.

But it was decent and entertaining and most definitely better than the other movies :/ the actors have improved.

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:07:44 GMT

So it turns out that the only side affect I get after being put under for wisdom teeth extraction is that I'm kinda sleepy. Unfortunately, I can't be hilarious :/.

MEMES <- the things I don't really do

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 04:42:05 GMT

"Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you."

and chromeheart gave me:

1) Gackt

Okay. This goes something like this:

Once upon a time, when Sumi was younger, she started listening to Jpop. Then she found Gackt. And it was good.

Rofl, I mean, Gackt is my favorite Japanese artist, hands down. He's so unusual and talented. And, you know... Amazing. 8D. I don't even really know what to say. He was the first artist I huntted for information for like an addict clings to their vice and idek, Gackt-dom was good.... I suck at this explaining significances thing.... :/

2) JaeSu

My love of this pairring first came about of an instinctual want to see my two most-favorites together. flkajssal;d And then the rest followed. I love the relationship dynamics that they carried and, for me at least, I think they're the one pairing that carries the most... realistic feeling. Idek. I need to write more of otp, but yeah. This is like, it. I love them. fjalsdkja;sadj

OH! but! I am also- er, how do I put this...

While I do JaeSu-spot in vids, I recognize, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Hugs and handshaking and whispering into the other's ear can be perfectly platonic.

...Even if I hope it isn't.

3) Tonkatsu

Is delicious.

...REALLY DELICIOUS.

'Nuff said.

4) Science

I have always had a passion for science. I love it. It's fascinating and.. well, it's always come easily to me...

Well, except Chemistry, but... flajsdfla jd okay, that was the worst year of science of my life. And it was because the teacher was insane and bad. lfkajsdflaksd I loved chemistry before I took that class. :/

Anyways, it's part of my souble major :) Writing and Biology.

5) Knitting

I knit. A lot.

.... um.

Yeah.

Okay, well, actually. I taught myself to crochet first and that was cool, I was pretty good with it, but I then I realized just how much you can do with knitting and while both are versatileif you you know the little tricks to it, I wanted to learn to knit, so I taught myself to do that too. It's calming. Satisfying. Mhmm. Also, not that's I've tried this or anything, but knitting needles make good weapons.

I'll be totally set in case of zombie invasion 8D

---------------------------------------

Well. There it was.

So, Sumi just went to cut a bitch

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 03:57:53 GMT

http://winglin.net/fanfic/Lovexx4xxYooSu/
http://winglin.net/fanfic/Lovexx4xxYooSu/
http://winglin.net/fanfic/Lovexx4xxYooSu/
http://winglin.net/fanfic/Lovexx4xxYooSu/
http://winglin.net/fanfic/Lovexx4xxYooSu/

http://winglin.net/fanfic/Lovexx4xxYooSu/

So.... there are like, nine YooSu authors that got plagiarized by this person, for realz..

NOT COOL.

At the very least, I tried to pm the authors, but if any of the people reading this on my flist know soloscry , darixhina or any of the other yoosu authors whose fics have been posted on that person's winglin, please inform them- I just want to make sure that my pms got through and they know....

and, not that i'm encouraging vigilante justice.. but i left the person a piece of my mind in a comment... um... ~~go do the same~~

[Oneshot] It's the End of the World as we Know It

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:29:41 GMT

Title: It's the End of the World as we Know it
Pairing: Gen, ot5 if you squint
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack
Summary: I.E the fic in which Jaejoong loses his handphone

A/N: Written on a whim, but I'm giving this one to xiahbuns because, one, I fail at titles. Two. I was talking to her when the idea bloomed and three, idk, ilu woman ;)

“Hey, I have some news, but you have to promise not to kill me first…”

Jaejoong rushes into the kitchen, looking irritated but at the same time, somewhat unconcerned. An uneasy tremor ran through the rest of them. It was too damn early for any of Jaejoong’s ‘news.’ Yunho, however, being the obligatory voice of responsibility, tries to crack a little smile, making no promises of nonviolence.

“Y-yes, Jae?”

Yunho’s inner little girl is running around in panicked circles by now, but he does his best not to cry.

And then Jaejoong opens his mouth.

“I lost my phone.”

And all hell breaks lose.

Thankfully, for Jaejoong anyways, Yunho insists that they not kill him. Jaejoong is, for all of his [insert explitive here], another pair of eyes and ears and hands-

But mostly, a useful bargaining piece in the unfortunate case that fans have gotten their stalkerish little hands on them.

The apartment is promptly turned upside down, shaken out and put back again, the SM building scoured, and a plethora of studios called. Eventually, there is nothing to do but wait for news.

There are a few weak attempt to reinstate calm, but the last one dissolves completely when Changmin of all people breaks out in tears, yelling, “I’m going to rip off your balls with rusty scissors if people see me in that fucking skirt Jaejoong!”

A profound silence follows. Followed further by a much less profound immature giggle.

Changmin promptly kills them all dead in his mind.

After three days, much despair, and a lengthy conversation about what Jaejoong wanted on his tombstone when they got their hands on him, a sort of resigned calm pervades the atmosphere.

Yes, they are doomed; yes, people will finally see just what it’s like to be a fly on the wall in their apartment; yes, they probably will get listings for porn; but somehow, none of it seems to matter.

And now-

“Jae. What is that.”

Yoochun says it flatly, frowning at the box on the table.

Jaejoong's standing next to it.

Texting.

“My phone. Hyunjoong fixed the ba-“

“YUNHO! CHANGMIN! JUNSU! GET SOME FUCKING STICKS, WE’RE KILLING HIM!”

Deer in the headlights expression. Jaejoong tips over some chairs in their way and runs for his life.

The next day is, more or less, back to normal.

Yunho passes a bowl of rice to Junsu at breakfast while Yoochun sleeps happily at the table and Changmin reads the paper.

They pay no attention to the wriggling sack-full-of-Jaejoong hanging by a thread from the coat hooks in the living room, begging for mercy and trying desperately to explain.

Yes, all is back to normal at casa del Dong Bang. And yes, they have destroyed Jaejoong’s phone.

[Oneshot] Open Shutters

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:39:42 GMT

Title: Open Shutters
Pairing: JaeSu
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff
Summary: A deeper look speaks as loud as their love.

A/N: Otp fic to break my semi-fic-hiatus. It's really been much too long since I've written JaeSu. Spurred by picspam.

Their love is far from secret.

When is there ever a day absent from longing stares, brushes of hands, encounters too close to be accidental? When are the signs ever absent from their eyes, their hands, their very bodies?

Certainly, there may be a line or two to read between, a carefully placed wording here or there, but Jaejoong and Junsu have assured that the love- it’s ever-present. Every night, every day, from rising sun to dead end- tonight, there’s always somebody to love.

Jaejoong laughs- openly for Junsu, never covering up because of the gift of smiles the younger sheds so freely on him- when Junsu says it the first time, crawling over his lover at the corny words, whispering You’re corny- this is Yoochun’s fault isn’t it? I knew I should have kept you all to myself instead of sharing with the others.

Without fail, it curves familiar lips into a smile, eyelashes fluttering across Jaejoong’s cheekbones Greedy and it’s all Yunho. I knew I-

Changmin pokes his head through the door briefly to tell them to shut up because they know they love the rest of their sorry asses before closing their shared door and Jaejoong and Junsu shake their head, eyes shining, fingers twined together, in love.

Do you think they’ll notice the way you fed me today, Jae? We were standing right behind Yunho during his section again…

Jaejoong smiles, kisses Junsu and settles down more firmly to lay on top of the younger man.

I hope so, Suyah. I’m still waiting for people to stop getting us wrong~

They dissolve into loving banter in their room, relishing in the comfort of their home.

But outside, their love is hardly secret-

-They simply wait for others to look.

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:23:46 GMT

So, I just got back on Sunday from a two week road trip, the last day of which was 22 hours of driving. Anywho, now that I'm back at home with not much to do, I will probably get back to ficcing :)

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 03:40:28 GMT

GRADUATED~!!!!!

[Oneshot] Puppy, or Rather, Kitten Love

Sun, 17 May 2009 22:51:34 GMT

Title: Puppy, or Rather, Kitten Love
Pairing: Homin, Jaesu, strange OT5
Genre: Crack, Fluff
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Yunho thinks they would all look better as kittens. It causes a bit of trouble.

A/N: for yuxi um. Baby animals are adorable.

It’s a quiet day in the Dong Bang apartment.

This is probably because Yoochun’s moved out and Jaejoong went to go spoil Junsu [read: conned Junsu into shopping with him], and most importantly-

It’s much too early for sex.

Changmin kind of enjoys it. He’s just about to settle down with a good book he’s been trying to finish for the last month when Yunho bounds in, looking absurdly childish, a bunch of papers and three crayons in his hands. Changmin sighs and puts away his book, saying goodbye to his peaceful afternoon while he watches Yunho walk over excitedly, brandishing the papers at him.

“Look baby, I drew us!”

Changmin’s latent plans for mutiny cross his mind as he stares at the crayon-scribbles, eyebrow raised.

“Yunho. Those are kittens.”

“I know! I always knew you’d make a good kitten. Don’t you like it? You’re the orange one. Look, I even drew the whole band as kittens!”

Changmin has to admit, the kitten pile is adorable. The kissing marmalade and tabby are adorable. Yunho’s eager smile is adorable.

It’s almost disgusting.

“I love it, Yunho!”

Damn his weakness for the older man.

Yunho beams at Changmin and tugs at him, “C’mon, Min, I want to show you more. We make the cutest kitten couple ever!”

Jaejoong and Junsu come home to a quiet apartment and it’s wonderful.

They haven’t quite forgotten the epic horror of walking in on Yunho and Changmin just yet.

There’s a full platoon of shoes by the door, so they’re sure the other two haven’t left, but might be asleep and so Jaejoong and Junsu try to celebrate their fortune quietly, tiptoeing through the apartment, laden with bags and giggling like un-crafty ninja.

They soak in the afternoon until dinner time and no sound has leaked out of Changmin and Yunho’s room yet so Jaejoong and Junsu give in to checking on the pair, bracing themselves for simultaneously horrifying and arousing imagery. Jaejoong cracks the door open and shuffles in but something is most definitely amiss.

Mew. Mew?

“Oh my god. If that isn’t precious I don’t know what is, what a cute pair of kittens! Look, Junsu, look! Kittens! Wah! This one looks like Min! I just wanna take it and dress it up in ridiculous frills like I feel he’s always deserved!”

The kittens hiss at him and Jaejoong frowns, producing a string from his pocket and waving it in front of the little furballs, delighting in the way they follow the thing with their whole bodies, falling over one another to get it. Junsu however, is perturbed. The dogs have been too quiet for these kittens to have not been there before and they do look suspiciously familiar.

A piece of paper falls from the bed to rest at Junsu’s feet and his eyes widen.

It’s a badly drawn crayon-picture of two kittens ‘kissing’- a little marmalade kitten and a little tabby- with hearts all over it, proudly proclaiming Yunho!cat and Changmin!cat as the ultimate pairing and Junsu has a horrible, sinking suspicion-

His attention is drawn away as the marmalade kitten swipes Jaejoong’s hand with a single claw and the singer drops the string with a pout, the kitten preening and looking satisfied while the tabby kitten nuzzles it and Junsu sighs, approaching Jaejoong, “Hyung, those aren’t just any cat’s they’re-“

Junsu’s eyes catch on another crayon drawing and a strange twisting in his stomach overtakes him

He swears like he’s never sworn before and makes a mental note to never let Yunho have crayons ever again.

Yoochun walks into the apartment heaving a sigh. He wishes the others would have called if they were going to skip a day and worry gnaws at him at the prevailing quiet in the neat home. He walks through the halls and peeks in the rooms, calling for the others with growing concern until he opens the door to Yunho and Changmin’s room.

“What the hell is going on here?!”

A picture falls at his feet from the miniature epic battle taking place on the bed and Yoochun frowns, picking up the crayoned piece of paper curiously.

His stomach feels kind of funny.

Nice going, Yunho. If you weren’t so cheap we wouldn’t be in this mess.

Changmin!kitten nips at Yunho!kitten’s ears, nuzzling him repentantly when Yunho lets out a distressed mewl.

How was I supposed to know they were magic? Besides, we’re cute aren’t we? Makes me all wibbly inside!

Yunho!kitten crawls over Changmin licking at his fur excitedly. On the others side of the bed, the rest of the members are much more sullen.

Yoochun, why are you a chicken?

Yoochun!chick peeps at Jaejoong!kitten, pecking at his sensitive nose.

Shut up. I miss having thumbs and I’m hungry!

Jaejoong tilts his head at Yoochun and meows at him, eyes bright.

You look delicious.

Yoochun promptly hops off the bed in search of the dogs, hoping that Harang might be more merciful. They have, after all, already been buddies for a long time, shouldn’t it make it better that Yoochun can actually communicate?

Then he remembers that he’s a chicken and despairs.

Junsu, on his end, is marginally okay with being a duckling. In fact, he’s never been so at peace with the size of his rear before. He does however, miss having thumbs so he waddles over to Jaejoong who positively wibbles at the sight.

You doing okay, Suyah?

I want my thumbs back Jaejoong. Can’t you help draw us so we can go back to normal?

It’s a good thing Jaejoong’s a sucker for him, or nothing would ever get done.

At the other end of the bed, Yunho and Changmin are oblivious as the former grooms the latter, meowing at each other softly.

Yunho?

Yes?

You make a cute kitten.

Yunho pounces on Changmin rubbing his face over Changmin’s affectionately.

Yay! We make the best kitty couple ever, don’t we?

For a moment, Changmin thinks, being a cat doesn’t matter if Yunho’s this happy. It doesn’t change their love at all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Inspired by these adorable things I found while bored and googling. None of the pictures are mine and neither is the video.

[Oneshot] Haloesque

Mon, 11 May 2009 19:27:59 GMT

Title: Haloesque
Pairing: MinSu
Rating: PG
Genre: Gen, Romance
Summary: Junsu's been trapped for a long time. Changmin's just the sort of man who can save him.

A/N: for bellasurus 's request/prompt. I'm finally getting around completing these with summer approaching. I hope this satisfies the prompt well- I took it in... a different direction. Oh.. and I'm sorry, but the smut didn't quite make it into the fic.

Prompt:

The sky is a dizzy myriad of colors, all wrong and somehow threatening, but Junsu watches kids play under the too-vibrant lights everyday. Maybe, he thinks, he’s just becoming maladjusted to what’s always been there. Maybe he thought it was stirring once, actually beautiful in its eeriness, but entrapment has gotten him yearning for something else.

He’s been under those skies for far too long now.

Sighing, he stirs from the worn seat placed by his window and pulls on his only other set of clothes to try to enjoy the breeze that bolsters the local children’s kites into the air even though he knows that the effort will be to no avail. The wind never touches him, just as the playing children never speak to him, just as the warmth from the sand under his feet never reaches him, just as Junsu is sure that he will never get out.

In any other case, he wouldn’t bother struggling against the sheer futility, but there is nothing else to do in this prison of a world, nothing for him to live for. Nothing to die for either when he figures that death is probably just a trap by another name and really, there isn’t anything so bad about where he is now anyways.

Not that he’s really sure of that either.

His stroll lasts for an indeterminable amount of time. The sun never seems to rise or set, constantly in a tense state of dusky-dawn. Sometimes, Junsu like to wonder if he could ever miss it, or if perhaps he misses the other states of day, but he doesn’t think he remembers what they are like so he often just dismisses the thought as idle and returns to the awkward little one-room cottage he came from to sit and stare outside the window at the sprayless sea and rainless clouds again.

Every day passes the same way.

And one day- though it starts out like all the others- a new person appears that Junsu is certain has never been there before.

It’s a tall man with handsome features and a boyish smile who comes to stand on Junsu’s doorstep, insisting that he knows Junsu, fitting himself in Junsu’s space immediately. The man doesn’t introduce himself, but Junsu thinks that his name is Changmin and the man certainly responds to it so there has to be some truth in what the man said about the knowing. Certainly, it had to be true.

And somehow, for the first time in what might have been a long time, Junsu thinks he might actually be… happy.

Changmin, unlike anyone else Junsu has seen under the skies, talks to him eagerly, telling him about all sorts of things and places and people that Junsu must know because he seems to recognize them. Junsu never has much to say back, but he enjoys hearing Changmin talk, enjoys the stories as a diversion from sitting by the window and staring. Changmin tells Junsu about things they’ve done and Junsu can almost see them with his eyes closed, almost feel the things that Changmin talks about.

It’s thrilling and magical- the sky stains itself a deeper blue, less eerie than before.

Changmin never stops talking, never stops bringing vibrancy into Junsu’s life and slowly, Junsu begins to realize that he is not living, but that he once did and it drives him, makes him want more, makes him want Changmin to stay with him and show him how.

And Changmin does.

The mundane becomes less mundane until one day, upon waking, Junsu finds that the sky is gone.

And Changmin is there.

Everything hurts.

“Changminah?”

“Junsu? Junsu?! Guys! Junsu’s awake!”

It was a coma, they said, a car crash on an icy road in winter. They were beginning to lose hope, but Junsu pulled through, he pulled through and everything, everything’s alright now. Junsu doesn’t really think so- he doesn’t remember anything- but the whole time, Changmin stays with him, holds his hand, keeps him safe.

Junsu might not remember much of what happened, but he knows that, on some level, Changmin saved him.

It’s a comforting thought, to know so well that he is loved.

It’s a quiet night in the apartment- Jaejoong and Yoochun are composing and Yunho’s out with some friends- and Junsu’s curled up with Changmin, their beds pushed together. They’ve been like this a lot- Changmin likes to hold Junsu these days just to make sure he’ll stay- and Junsu’s heart is making leaps, at peace. He’s started to remember more things and he remembers that Changmin didn’t used to be like this. He wasn’t so affectionate before and Junsu couldn’t be more grateful that that’s changed.

“It was you, you know. You made me better.”

The words make Changmin smile and he nuzzles into the crook of Junsu’s neck, holds him closer, “Oh?”

Junsu nods, “You were there. Under that horrible sky with me. You kept telling me all sorts of things. Like what Jaejoong had made for dinner, or things the fans had done, or that Junho had visited the other day. I couldn’t remember most of the stuff you were talking about, but it helped. It helped to have someone who talked to me.”

Junsu feels Changmin’s cheeks heat up, and he smiles at the reaction, taking one of Changmin’s hands and lacing it with one of his own over his stomach. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Changmin nods and he holds Junsu a little tighter, on the brink of a confession, “I… I kept talking to you and I hoped you would hear me. I really really hoped you would hear me. I- er, we- couldn’t lose you. I-I couldn’t lose you. I’m glad it helped.”

Changmin clears his throat and his cheeks heat up a fraction more, “I’m glad you’re back. I couldn’t… live without you.”

It’s half a confession but Junsu takes it for all it’s worth and he turns in Changmin’s hold to tilt the younger man’s face up so that their eyes meet.

“I don’t think I could live without you either.”

It’s a simple statement of truths.

And the beginning of something better.

Series| Steel Wings Over Ash (IV)

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 03:59:48 GMT

Title: Steel Wings Over Ash| Part IV- Requiem (Truth in All its Hideous Glory)
Pairing: Yoochun/Changmin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Post-Apocalyptic AU, Romance
Summary: When Earth can no longer take the stresses mankind has placed upon it and those that have caused its ruin have fled, those that have been left behind must pick up the pieces. It's a struggle to survive, but for their significant other and those that have passed, Yoochun and Changmin endure.

A/N: The last time I updated this fic was July 14th. I admit, it's difficult for me to finish series because I lose the spark, but I promise to try. I don't expect anyone to remember this, but this fic is and always has been for the lovely chromeheart . I'll finis it someday, Riecat :). There are only two parts left anyways.

Previous: Part I- What Lies on the Horizon (Far Too Late to Back out Now) | Part II- Ghosts of Whatevers (Something Lost and Something Gained) | Part III- Lines of Definition (Where You and I and Them Begin)

Yoochun brushes his fingers against the abused bits of brick that haven't been reclaimed by nature yet. Each bit of rubble weighs like a memory in his palm and he can almost see them- the last occupants of what might have been an apartment complex, or an office building, or a quaint little house tucked out of the way. It's hard to tell the difference anymore and the ghostly visions that flit before his eyes are the same.

There are six units, college kids are chilling in unit one, while in unit three a single father reads a fairy tale to his little princess and in unit four-

-the boss is fucking his secretary over the edge of his mahogany table. It’s illicit and all sorts of shameful and secret- really, a homosexual affair?- but neither of them can be bothered to care when the boss comes with a moan and under him-

-they're newlyweds, just moved into their first house, celebrating with coy giggles and making sure their marks is left in every room of the house-

It’s with more than a touch of shame that Yoochun realizes that he can see these visions more clearly than the faces of three others he loved- loves- and the thought makes him want to be sick. He promised that he wouldn’t forget, but where has that lead him?

Broken dreams? Desperate wishes? Nightmares of the past steeped in regret?

He doesn’t know how to move on. Hell, maybe he already has and he hasn’t realized it yet, but from where then would the guilt come on so strong?

Yoochun doesn’t know, but it doesn’t matter- he doesn’t want to forget. Still, the idea upsets him so he thinks, instead, of Changmin who’s working on repairs back at ‘home’ that Yoochun is supposed to be scavenging materials for. It’s a poor choice for distraction, but he pours all of his thought into the task, scouring the ruins for the precious materials that have kept them alive.

Sunlight reflects off of plastic and Yoochun knows it by sight, so he immediately makes a beeline for any glint of toxic light on the ground. He’s got a spade for digging when he reaches such spots and he always feels a bit like a child when he does, finding buried treasure that’s no less valuable than gold. Thankfully for them, human kind did an excellent job of leaving its mark in that there’s always plenty of plastic around to keep them going.

He finds a spot half-under a collapsed wall, sheltered slightly from the harsh sun and the brutal storms and he starts digging, throwing himself into the task. It’s a better distraction than the last, thoughts trained on getting out the piece of plastic out without damage. Some time later- numbers have become largely irrelevant in this day and age- Yoochun manages to pry out a flat square, brushing soil off of it and wondering if it might be too small to-

A faint stirring of recognition tugs at him and hastens his cleaning work, fingers working against the grime already on them to see what sort of treasure he’s found and his heart nearly stops in his chest when it’s uncovered.

He never thought he’d see one of their albums again. Not since they left the apartment.

Yoochun leaves his work abandoned in favor of running towards the old sweatshop and flying down into their safe area, hurrying to the stereo that Changmin recovered and fixed up to play. The speakers are shitty and the whole thing looks like it’s halfway to hell, but it works and Yoochun’s heart thuds hard in his chest as he cracks open the old casing to find the precious disk within. It’s dirty, just a bit, but it looks playable and wipes his fingers on his pants before taking it out and cleaning it gently, placing it in the CD tray when he’s done in an almost reverent manner.

The music that plays threatens to break his heart.

Yoochun didn’t realize how he’d started to forget what they all sounded like. The voices sound almost foreign in all of their familiarity and he finds himself misplacing a voice or two at parts where he knows exactly who’s singing. The mind-rending shock drops him into a nearby decrepit armchair. Memories tug at him at a slow ebb and Yoochun sinks into the cushions beneath him, feeling the past swallow him up.

Hoping secretly it never spits him back up.

The sound of breaking glass was followed closely by a shocked yelp and husky cursing. Jaejoong, of course Jaejoong, was the first to come running, summoned by their second youngest’s distress. They all filtered in fairly quickly, though, a slight trill of fear chording through them.

There was blood.

Junsu had moved himself to the far end corner of the room, away from the windows, nursing a cut arm and trying hard not to touch the glass that had caused it, still splitting his skin. The window was broken, ice melting just there on the floor as it drummed in, the size of baseballs.

They hadn’t wanted to believe it when everyone said the storms were getting worse.

Yunho was the first to act, taking Changmin and going with him to find a board or something of the sort to block up the window while Jaejoong did his best to hurry over, avoiding the bits of glass still scattered on the floor and the blood trail that followed to reach Junsu who reacted instantly- as a flower to the sun- to Jaejoong’s care.

Yoochun stood stock still, shocked with dread running through him. Junsu, he knew, had to be sitting in the window sill. It was just a thing that the younger man did when pensive, normal, but the circumstances had changed.

Had a different part of the window given way, would it have simply been Junsu’s arm that suffered? Surely not. Surely, they were risking worse but-

Yunho returned with the board and nails, covering the gape patiently with Changmin, utterly calm.

“We’ll ask the landlord about it tomorrow. We can get all the windows replaced with storm windows, probably. Yoochun, don’t just stand there, go get bandages and water so we can clean up Junsu. Everything will be okay.”

They knew, all of them knew. It wouldn’t be okay. It couldn’t be, not now when the storm had finally touched them. It was ludicrous to expect them to go back to normal, but they played the parts anyways.

Yoochun had sat, staring at nothing in front of his computer for some time after that, unsure of what to think and feeling, as he hated so, lost. He stayed until called, until one of the other came in with a quiet-

“Yoochun. Yoochun-“

“Yoochun.”

Yoochun looks up at Changmin whose gaze is on the little stereo, breath bated. Yoochun can see the muscles in his throat work to swallow hard, trying to hold back his grief.

They’d never quite mourned for that day.

“Where’d you get it?”

“I was scavenging. I didn’t collect anything else. I couldn’t. I had to see if it worked.”

Yoochun’s words come out all at once in a single botched confession. He nearly throws out an apology, but there’s nothing to be sorry for. Changmin understands. He has to.

They’ve missed the other parts of their hearts for far too long.

Changmin walks over to pick up the cracked and sullied case with trembling fingers before turning to finally look at Yoochun, eyes wet with emotion. They’d left their own copies at home al that time ago in the heat of the moment. It had hurt too much to look at them in the days preceding their leave, and it had been so natural to assume that those voices would be with them always.

Hearing them now, Yoochun realizes that they were wrong.

He’s not sure who the first sniffle comes from, or which of them moved first, but soon they’re wrapped up in each other’s arms on the couch, music filling the lonely corners of their safe house as they share the pair, share their longing.

It’s cosmically unfair for Hug to be their requiem, but Yoochun is certain, dead certain, he wouldn’t have expected anything less.

“Everything’ll be fine. Don’t worry so much, Yoochun-ah.”

And at that time, Yoochun let them hug him.

He’d let himself believe.

[Oneshot] A Risk of Flight

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 05:05:08 GMT

Title: A Risk of Flight
Pairing: JaeSu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance
Summary: Jaejoong submitted to the mundane without an idea of how little of a fight he really gave. Junsu helps him remember what it's like to dream.

A/N: Um. Yes, I finally wrote otp again! Yuxi, aren't you proud of me? ;~; this is terrible. Oh, Oh, and it's also not angst... I'm going to go back to getting my brain melted via research paper now. -.-u

It was a routine for him.

In the morning, Jaejoong got up, showered, ate a cold breakfast of whatever he had leftover from the night before, and then he promptly dressed and rushed off to get on the train while the rest of the city rubbed the sleep from its eyes so he could get to work.

His boss would clock in two hours later on the dot, sipping coffee that didn’t taste like dirty water (all for the image and never the flavor; funny how it was just like life), and always, without fail, slapped new shit on Jaejoong’s cramped little desk with a shark’s grin.

Work always was a game of catch up.

Lunch often didn’t happen- there was just never time for such luxuries and that last, unwanted granola bar in the vending machine did its job fine. If by chance the day had been good, Jaejoong would stop by the market after work and dash home to make dinner. Most of the time (predictably), it wasn’t. Life was shitty, after all, and usually, Jaejoong just ended up at the first fast food joint that wouldn’t make him too sick.

By the time Jaejoong got home, all he had the energy to do was change out of his tired old suit and shower, taking a possible hour or two of mind-numbing television while he paid his many bills before going back to sleep and starting all over again.

There was a time when the monotony might have bothered him, when Jaejoong used to come home full of nothing but anger and the feeling of being in a cage too small, but it had long since passed, dreams burned to ash and blown away. The beauty of life forgotten.

Jaejoong had worked away his life until work became his life. A mundane affair that clocked out by a quarter to six. A story with no plot and a pathetic moral.

The day Jaejoong met one Kim Junsu, however, was the day that Jaejoong forgot not to remember the way he once was. Junsu was simply beautiful, so full of hope and dreams and raw potential that it overflowed in turbulent waves. So bright was the effect that Jaejoong almost believed that he would get burned if he so much as brushed against the other.

Jaejoong first met Junsu on the train ride home, taking the last seat next to him by chance. Junsu wasn’t paying him any attention, sitting practically in the lap of another man, flirting and exchanging little notes on scraps of paper with him. Jaejoong attempted to be unaffected (embittered, he told himself, but it rang too close to ‘jealous’ in his mind), but he found himself stealing glances, captivated.

Circumstances brought him no further at an uneven jerk of the train that sent Junsu spilling into his lap, eyes wide and apologetic, and Jaejoong mentally dealt a slap to his wrist for letting his breath hitch (for hoping that the man with Junsu was not his lover). The thought was gone when Junsu was yanked back into the man’s lap, giggling. It was, perhaps, mercy when two stops later, the man stood to leave and tried to tug Junsu with him.

Fate was only a little unkind, Jaejoong decided then, for the protest Junsu whispered in the man’s ear while taking his hand back. It was only slightly torturous for Junsu to calmly take back the vacated seat.

Neither kindness, however, stopped Jaejoong’s heart from skipping beats when Junsu turned to flash a smile at him eyes bright.

“Sorry, by the way, for falling all over you before.”

This time, Jaejoong looked away, he didn’t feel like having hope.

(Though he already knew- it was far too late for that.)

Jaejoong saw Junsu more often after that day, coming sometimes before and after with the same man or others (there were three of them, Jaejoong realized one day in his quiet observation, the same three time and time again, and he disliked them all the same) and Jaejoong never failed to get the seat next to them. Bright laughter and strains of song became part of Jaejoong’s routine that he couldn’t do without. A part that never became old.

Without knowing it, Jaejoong fell (just a little bit) in love.

It was about a few months after the first time they met that Junsu came in, for once, alone after Jaejoong had gotten on. It took a few seconds of staring to realize that Junsu was staring back and Jaejoong flushed a slight pink, trying to hide his face.

It was an effort in vain, of course.

Junsu strode over fearlessly and lifted Jaejoong’s chin until their eyes met, smiling that bright, bright smile at him.

“Hey, there. My name is Kim Junsu, but you probably already know that because my friends can’t shut up for their lives. I have to say, though, I would very much like to know yours, too.”

Jaejoong nearly wet himself in nervous excitement, but that was beside the point. He put up a weak front, catching Junsu’s hand in his and forgetting that he was supposed to be slapping it away, “Hey, hey… what makes you think you can just go up to me and try to pick me up like that?”

The train starts moving and Jaejoong tightens his grip automatically when Junsu stumbles, guiding him into the seat next to him. At the very least, Jaejoong thinks, he can stare without pretending he isn’t now, but it doesn’t make his case any stronger.

Junsu leans in a bit, “Well, you’ve never failed to sit next to me and my friends on this train, even when there are more seats available. You haven’t stopped stealing looks at me since day one, and,” a look of solid bemusement crossed Junsu’s boyish features, “You haven’t let go of my hand yet.”

Jaejoong blushes brighter than he ever thinks he has and he thinks idly that all the blood rushing to his face must be making his heart skip (though his heart says Junsu, Junsu with every other beat).

“S-so?”

“I thought we could be friends or something.”

The answer is simple, but all Jaejoong hears is that bright ‘or something’ and the world of possibility that follows.

Then it hits him in a powerful wave- he hasn’t felt this good in a long time.

“Jaejoong, then. My name is Kim Jaejoong.”

That day, Jaejoong learns that hope is more powerful than he ever gave it credit. That day, he learns that Junsu’s only ever wanted to sing and dance and that he pays his rent with his talents, sleazy though his settings may be at times. Jaejoong learns that Junsu’s friends have taken it upon themselves to keep the creeps off of him and that even though times have been hard, even though Junsu’s had so much reason to give up, he simply won’t.

But best of all, Jaejoong learns that he’d been hoping for sunshine of his own for his whole life and for once, for once he’s gotten just what he wanted.

Jaejoong’s quit his shitty desk job in favor of making music with a boy he met on the train by chance, a boy- man- who’s become his hope, his raison d’être.

Now, rent’s a little harder to pay and groceries don’t exactly buy themselves (not that crappy take out did either), but nights have become magic under his (their) cheap cotton sheets and Jaejoong’s found friends in the men he used to see with Junsu on the train (who aren’t half as dislikable as Jaejoong once thought). Of course, it’s not all sunshine and daisies with the bar crowd rowdy and eager for proximity, but somehow, none of that really matters.

(Jaejoong thinks- knows- he’s in love and after all of his struggles with himself, it really only took a second to take that leap of faith)

“Jaejoongieah! We’re going to be late and you know there are going to be people from the label there, c’mon!”

Eyes bright, hand extended, Jaejoong’s not about to hesitate before holding on.

He’s never felt more alive.

meme... because procrastination is always the answer

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 02:44:13 GMT

1. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.
2. Go to Google Images and search for that word.
3. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results. (Don't tell me the word)
4. Put this in your own journal so that I can do the same.

[Oneshot] Universality

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:57:31 GMT

Title: Universality
Pairing: HoMin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff-ish, Crack
Summary: All it took for Yunho and Changmin to get together was the universe, and a pebble.

A/N: for yuxo - this is what i meant in that whole pebble in the way of Yunho's shoe comment... except that I finished fic at like, two in the morning and I don't really know what happened to it. Oh well. The point is, you didn't get it, so I ficced it for you, like you asked.

Yunho wanted Changmin.

Changmin wanted Yunho.

This was truth, but the two of them? They didn’t know it yet.

Everyone else? Now that was a whole different case entirely. Nearly the entire universe had been waiting for them to finally get their act together and jump into a dark closet to make out (and yes, the universality of their pending relationship was a truth as well- it’s always surprising to people when they find the truth of the how deep love runs).

It was just about time the universe did something about it.

Luckily, for Changmin and Yunho, the universe did not enact its great relationship schemes while they were right in front of the public eye.

This did not mean, however, that the universe was kind. No, in fact, it enacted its great relationship scheme precisely five minutes and thirty-four seconds from their entrance into the public eye. The whole set up was meant to be confusing- this was universal hoo-ha after all- so it went something like this (in layman’s terms):

They were backstage five minutes and thirty-four seconds before a performance and Yunho was restless, pacing back and forth like a maniac, throwing surreptitious, love-sick looks at Changmin with increasing frequency. Changmin as it was, was doing the same, minus the pacing. Lucky for him, love-sickness did not impair his brain so terribly much. He had a book to ‘study (Yunho) from.’ It was a brilliant plan!

Except for the part where he didn’t notice the lovesick looks he was getting from Yunho. His brilliance still did not save him from a little bit of love-induced stupidity.

The universe, however, corrected for this small error in wooing.

Somehow, in one of the greatest universal ‘somehow’s there was, a single pebble appeared in Yunho’s way. Yunho, with a big pinwheeling of arms, tripped over said pebble while Changmin dropped his book to catch him and somewhere in the whole mess, their lips met.

The results were epic.

Fireworks went off. Babies cried. Certain band members cheered in cathartic joy. People clapped. A canon of cannons fired. Choirs sang. Animals raised a cacophony of wild calls.

(And though it should be thusly noted that the items listed above did not necessarily happen in the same place… or even the same time necessarily…)

The universe sighed a great, big FINALLY.

Most importantly, however, from that moment on, Yunho and Changmin realized that they simply could not be without and were forevermore attached by the hand and/or lips.

And that was the way that everyone like them.

Now, the truth of it was, the ‘accidental’ kiss needn’t have happened. Truthfully, Yunho actually caught his balance a fraction of a fraction of a second after tripping; he just decided to follow through the motion in hopes of meshing his lips with Changmin’s. Truthfully, Changmin didn’t so much drop his book to catch Yunho as he did drop the book to meet Yunho halfway.

Really, the details weren’t important.

The fact of it was, they were deeply in love, stupidly pining for the other, and the universe decided that HoMin simply had to be. Oh, and there was a happily ever after, but it doesn’t seem correct to announce one when they haven’t quite ‘ended.’

“…Did that really happen?”

Jaejoong felt a touch of annoyance as he snapped out of his storytelling-reverie to look at his sister’s daughter who was staring back at him skeptically. Jaejoong crossed his arms over his chest and scoffed (read: pouted)- there was no way a little girl was going to rain on his parade.

“Of course it did!”

“Well…. I don’t believe you.”

Jaejoong sputtered, flailing madly and an irritatingly familiar hand patted his shoulder.

“I wouldn’t either, you now. Your Uncle Jae is craaaaaaaazy.”

Changmin- the snarky son of a bitch- chuckled and shuffled over to sit next to them. Jaejoong wanted nothing more than to one-touch the smugness right off of his face. He wouldn’t of course. Not that he was advocating nonviolence- Min deserved it- but Jaejoong couldn’t give away the satisfaction (or earn Yunho’s wrath for that matter).

“Uncle Min, you know lots of things! Can you tell me a story?”

“Of course, kiddo. How about I tell you about the super-embarrassing way your Uncle Jae got together with your Uncle Su. It wasn’t at all as perfect as when I got together with your Uncle Yunho.”

Jaejoong seethed inwardly. After all of his nice storytelling, Changmin still had the gall to upstage him!

“Was Uncle Jae stupid in this one like in the story Uncle Yunho told me?”

Changmin shot a terrible, snarky, evil, Yunho-like-baby-stealing, grin at Jaejoong.

“Isn’t he always?”

And thusly Jaejoong concluded: The universe was a bastard for bringing him HoMin.

</lj>

[Oneshot] Better

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:06:57 GMT

Title: Better
Pairing: Jaesu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angstish, but the point of it is Fluff
Summary: Jaejoong has a string of downs. Junsu is his ultimate up.

A/N: For Thea (purplehaze_33 ) as really belated birthday fic. Sorry it's so late. I suck at timing... as in, not only is it way past our birthday but I wrote this way earlier and forgot to post. Also- completely irrelevant, but I can't look at the title of this piece with out music from Little Women the musical popping into my head. Humdeedum.

Life was shitty.

There was no other word for it as far as Jaejoong knew. His car was the worst piece of crap there was. It wasn’t worth driving even just down the block to get the gas- not that it would even survive the trip- so he took public transportation instead, wondering why the hell he hadn’t scrapped the piece of junk that was only acting as a drain on his limited funds for the parking spot anyways.

It was always a struggle to catch a bus where he lived- and catch the right bus at that, assuming that it was on time- and Jaejoong scrambled for it every day, trying his best not to be late again. There were already too many rumors about the boss favoring his pretty face as his reason for keeping his job, and he didn’t need another to add to the stack (because little did those assholes that bussed tables know that it was another pretty face that the boss favored- Yunho had a thing for the long-legged, snarky barista that mixed his mocha lattes every morning). But no matter how much Jaejoong wanted to quit, he couldn’t- he had to pay rent, had to pay taxes, had to pay for any little thing he hadn’t sold away.

Lucky for Jaejoong, life was shittier than usual on one particular day.

He’d missed the bus- his only option to get to work involving walking in the rain- his landlord was asking for his long-overdue and overlooked rent (amiable, Park Yoochun was, and a good friend, but Yoochun needed to pay bills as much as he did), he spilled coffee on his one clean shirt, and he was flat broke and living off TV dinners without a TV to watch them in front of. To top it all off, Jaejoong was almost sure that no matter how nice Yunho was to him, he was going to get fired one of these days.

A passing car kicked up a wake of water in a shallow spot and Jaejoong found himself even wetter than five seconds before, a frustrated half-scream tearing from his throat as he stormed after the car, “Real fucking beautiful, asshole! Grow some fucking consideration!”

And just when Jaejoong was ready to give up and turn back around to start packing- an inch away from deciding to just move back in with his parents like they were always harping on him to do- his cellphone- the cheap piece of plastic- rang. It, at least, was in his coat pocket on the side away from the curb. Somehow it had survived the splash completely dry and Jaejoong scrambled to pick it up.

“Yeah?!” It was rude, but Jaejoong was weary of life’s downs.

“Jaejoongie?”

“Junsu?” The change in Jaejoong’s tone was astonishing, but it was involuntary. Hearing the other’s voice evoked a slew of memories from before Jaejoong made his way to the city, memories of a sweet small town boy that he loved though their paths led them to different places.

“Jaejoongie! It’s so good to hear your voice again. It’s been too long-“

“Way too long.”

“Yes, way too long. I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too, baby. I’m so sorry I haven’t been calling lately but-“

“Jaejoongie, it’s alright. Guess what?”

“What?” Jaejoong’s voice trembled with overwhelming joy and something like love. He’d nearly forgotten how sweet the younger boy could be, the sort of happiness that he could bring.

“I’m coming to the city! I auditioned to sing at this little café and they loved me-“

“You mean, you’re coming to see me? Stay with me?”

“If you want me, then yes.”

“Of course I want you! What sort of statement is that?” he laughed brightly, freely into the phone, feet moving a little quicker in his elation. Maybe the day wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe it actually was pretty fucking brilliant. Like the rain wasn’t as bad as he’d thought or something, or rather…

His little ray of sunshine found him.

Junsu’s joyful laughter filtered through the line and Jaejoong couldn’t stop smiling. Junsu just had that effect on him (on everyone really, but Jaejoong liked to believe that it was only for him).

“Hey, Jae? I should go; I have to pack but I can call you later.”

His world fell a bit, but his elation lingered, “Oh. Alright, you should do that…”

“Hey, Jae?”

“Yeah?” Jaejoong couldn’t resist Junsu’s call, especially not when it was his own name.

“I love you.”

And now nothing could bring Jaejoong down. The rudest, crudest asshat could come up to him and steal his wallet and Jaejoong would still be smiling.

“I love you too, Suyah.”

Jaejoong got off with a little click of his phone steps away from the café that he worked at, eyes alight with radiant happiness.

Maybe, he thought, he could ask Yunho for a little raise, look things up on the internet and fix his car, and borrow a little money from Changmin while he was at it to tie him over until the end of the month. Then, he would make sure charming Mr. Park Yoochun could no longer see through the curtains into his unit for when Junsu came over (not that he didn’t trust Yoochun or Junsu, but still, that beautiful ass was off-limits) and he could maybe clean a bit with a little optimism even.

Life never looked better.

[Oneshot] Intentions

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 23:06:10 GMT

Title: Intentions
Pairing: HoMin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack
Summary: Yunho tries his hardest to be sweet. Changmin cannot appreciate it.

A/N: written for kakkobean for the minho_yongwonhi white day fic exchange '09

Just because he wasn’t willing to crush Yunho’s little overtures of affection didn’t mean he was willing to indulge him either.